So, Wednesday night at 12:30, I guess technically that is morning - the night before Thanksgiving, the day after my crazy Tuesday - and I go to Wal-Mart because my daughter is screaming. I'm not really sure why she was screaming, but she did not want to eat and she did not want to rock, so in my brain fog I thought I should go to Wal-Mart to get SOMETHING to make her stop. Mylicon, Tylenol, Benedryl, Vodka.... SOMETHING!!! Just kidding about the last two. I went in my pajamas, but they are black and I put on a sweatshirt, so you really couldn't tell they were pajamas, just so you know. My hair was crazy, half in a ponytail, half not. My eyes were red and barely open and the lights in Wal-Mart were so bright and offensive. There were boxes everywhere and lots and lots of people. What was everyone doing?!!! You could be asleep! So, on my way to the baby section I got caught behind these two girls that could not have been more than 16 or 17 years old. They saw the baby stuff and one of them says, "Aw, I want a baby. I need to have a baby." The other one replies, "Yeah, it woulda been cool if I'da been pregnant cause me and Salesha's baby woulda been born just one day apart." The other one says, "Awww!!" I stopped, I tried to open my bloodshot eyes a little further and I said, "Seriously. You want a baby." They turned around sort of slowly and I thought to myself, "Did I just say that out loud? Or are they turning around out of coincidence?" They were staring so I guessed that I had said it all out loud and in a moment, I decided to keep going. "You know you get really big when you're pregnant right? And then you actually have to physically push that baby out of your body and then you have to, you know, feed it and change its diaper and its clothes and it can't talk and it just cries and cries and cries right? I mean, I haven't slept in days and I haven't eaten in what seems like longer and I'm at freakin' Wal-Mart on Thanksgiving Eve to get WHATEVER it takes to help my baby girl out. Plus, I have a husband and I get to be a full-time mom, not a high school student. Look at me! Go home, go to bed!"
Wow. They were looking alright. They didn't laugh. I think they thought I was drunk and I am pretty sure the smaller one was looking around for a Wal-Mart worker or security or something. They quickly walked toward electronics and glanced back only once in my direction. I looked around and gathered a few things like diapers and pacifiers and socks, mylicon, tylenol, some organic baby food, I don't know, whatever, throw it in the basket.
I headed towards the checkout lines and tried to keep an eye out for those girls because I was embarrassed and didn't want to get stuck next to them or behind them in line. I chose one of the three lines that were open. Yep, just three. There were seriously hundreds of people shopping and only three open lines? How long had I been in this god forsaken place? Anyways, the lady in line in front of me had two baskets full of stuff, of course. She had a turkey and a pan to cook the turkey in and dressing that comes in a bag and lots and lots of rolls and a ham and a blow up snowman thing to put in the front yard and a couple of pie plates and lots of canned pumpkin and she just kept unloading her baskets on to the conveyor belt. I kept thinking, "Sheesh lady! You are barely going to get home in time to put all of this stuff in the oven before Thanksgiving is over!" The people in front of her finally got finished checking out and the crazy lady caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye and she stopped. She walked over to me and grabbed my arm, she said sort of softly, "You go ahead hun. You look a little tired and this might take a while." I said, "No, that's ... really? Thanks! I'm sort of in a hurry." She winked and grabbed a coke out of the cooler by the checkout. I just laughed. I must have looked really bad and I obviously could not hide my amazement and disgust at the likes of Wal-Mart on the eve of a major holiday. The crazies think I'm crazy! But then again, I was at Wal-Mart at 1:00 in the morning and I looked scary and I just yelled at some poor high school girls and I was getting a little panicky in the checkout line. I had to take a look around on my way out, these were my people now.